Just what is the Faux Gaming Cabal?

You Call Yourselves Woke, But are Blind to the Real Conspiracy

If you've stopped taking your meds like I have, then you'll start to see patterns, not just the geometric shapes appearing on my shower curtain, but the gaming industry too. It's a moldy cesspool that needs to be thrown out because I don't know how to clean it, sorry, I just don't. It's a dirty business, one that's full of bugs. Just look at the explosion of revenue over the past 15 years and it's baffling how this multi-thousand dollar industry churns out worsening games that charge top-dollar for second rate gameplay. It was all confusing to me until now, but my eyes have been opened to the secret agenda that's changing games for worse, but before I discuss that, it's time for some ancient history, I'm not talking about how aliens invented the printing press (yet) I'm talking about the first attack on videogames in the 90's. 

In 1994, congressional hearings resulted in the formation of the ESRB, who slapped the restrictive M rating onto the most influential game of all time, Doom. Little did the boomer politicians and anti-videogame activists know, that Doom would be their doom, ironic. The attempt to limit and snuff out the gaming industry turned out to be a massive fail as it's now grown to a million-dollar industry with massive cultural influence and reach. It's just too big to fail, despite the frontal attacks of decrepit boomers that continue to this day. Lazy middle-aged npcs take lazy jabs at the gaming giants and are steamrolled by by Steam sales. These people are completely harmless, their motives are straight forward and easy enough to dismiss, the magical incantation being "okay boomer" does the job, they really are okay from a threat-level standpoint What isn't okay is the secret and very real rise of covert actors that threaten to destroy gaming from the inside. 

Not everything needs to be obliterated like a camel hit by a Kamaz rally truck. Termites can destroy a house from the inside, and so can the Faux Gaming Cabal. The anti-gaming legacy continues and it's no longer a clear and present danger, but a mysterious, hidden evil. The Faux Gaming Cabal works in the ways that the religious politicians and boomers don't; cunning and sabotage. Instead of the secret moonbase or hollow earth hideouts, these secretive game-killers hide in plain sight and come from all walks of life. People like streamers, hipsters, journalists, celebrities and even developers all have Cabal members in their midst, whether they know it or not. If the government could hide tracking chips in peoples guacamole, then these conspirators can go undetected. It just takes one person in a key position to poison the well, and if they do, all of our turkeys will be cooked, if you know what I mean. 

Describing just what the Faux Gaming Cabal is, cannot go without mentioning the methods they use to realize their nefarious goal. The word "faux" means false or fake, that's a big part of what's going on here. Just like how birds have been replaced with government drones, these secret meddlers are removing the gameplay from videogames. All it takes is some journalist favor story elements over gameplay to sway the choices of developers, that's if the developers themselves haven't been compromised. Some people in the multi-billion dollar gaming industry have no qualms about steering the business towards the rocky shores of high-cost assets and bug-ridden gimmicks to frustrate gamers. This undermines the hobby of gaming, while satisfying the greed of publishers and developers, who make hundreds of dollars on overpriced and overproduced DLCs and season passes. What is the Faux Gaming Cabal's ultimate goal? To turn the noble activity of videogaming into nothing more than glorified tv watching, all whilst wringing out gamers wallets in the process. 

Now there's a lot more than I can cover in a single article, but you can start putting piece together the cross-industry conspiracy to make games less playable. The politicians and parents failed, but the industry is far from safe when there's such a push to keep us from pushing buttons. The obvious signs of the Faux Gaming Cabal's conspiracy are hidden in plain sight, just like lizard people. Don't be discouraged though there's still plenty decent gamers that will call out the non-gameplay creep of industry trends. 

Aside from the topic entirely, I may or may not have been laid off for sniffing chemicals at work (to check if they were harmful) So making a living online is a new goal of mine. If these articles entertain you at all, then consider supporting me on Patreon. Whether you decide to or not, keep gaming, Comrades!